Monday 3rd
Watched the Lakers beat the Kings on a tiny tv, backstage before the show tonight in the final 7th game of the Western Conference.I screamed myself hoarse to no avail, much to the amusement of all the stage hands and security men clustered around the tv with me and reluctantly had to admit that the LAkers deserved to win.
Had a fantastic second night here at the Wiltern Theatre in LA on the final date of our US leg of the tour and felt that we managed to banish the disappointment and frustration of the previous night and just surrender to complete ROCKOUT pleasure!
Tarrie B came backstage after the show and we got to meet face to face for the first time ever.(God.....she's extremely beautiful.Even more so than her press photos would suggest!)
We discussed her plans for staging a "Lillith Scare" festival sometime next year which I think is a genius idea and one which I hope comes to light.I'd love to help her put it together as there are so many great and fierce acts that could all fit together to make up an amazing and eclectic bill.
Tarrie gave me this lovely little wooden crucifix she had made for me that had the words "Pray for Rock" carved into it which I thought was really sweet and funny and I've hung it up in my touring wardrobe case for inspiration and reassurance.
Oh and finally............I've become obsessed with the new Eminem cd.I've played it constantly since I got it and think that it's such an incredible,primal howl of a record.......disguised in sarcasm and profanity and bordering on complete genius.

Tuesday 4th
Played Leno last night and would probably rank it amongst one of our finer tv appearances.I felt totally relaxed for once.....probably due to the fact that I decided to wear my normal gig "comabt" gear and not get too fussy with a "special" outfit for tv.As a consequence of this decision,I felt completely comfortable and "normal" whilst performing "Cherry Lips"
Sadly,shortly after enjoying the most fabulous meal at "Orzo's" after the show, I developed for the first time ever in my life, a head splitting migraine of the most horrific order.I got tunnel vision and EVERYTHING!!! It was super scary and I just had to shut off all the lights in my room and wait for it to pass.

Wednesday 5th
Had an interesting day off yesterday to say the least! Went to meet the legendary Jimmy Iovine, head of Interscope Records in the afternoon and discussed some band business that needed to be addressed.....including the possibility of releasing our B-side's compilation and also our plans for our next studio album proper.I then met up with video director Sophie Muller and accompanied her as she scouted locations for a video she is making for the band "Sparta"......most of the original members of "At the Drive In".It was absolutely hilarious driving around LA late at night with a crazy english woman, stopping off at all sorts of seedy bars and clubs around town whilst acting very suspiciously indeed. People had no idea why we wanted to step in to their premises for all of 5 minutes, take photos and then leave!!!
Anyway.....she found two places she liked so I feel like we did good!!!!
Later we went and had cocktails at the Chateau Marmont which has the most gorgeous lobby bar and old hollywood atmosphere.

Thursday 6th
Oh what misery.We had an 8:30am lobby call to ride to the airport and catch a flight to to Mexico City yesterday morning and so we were all decidedly UNAMUSED!
Mercifully the flight was relatively painless and we arrived in time to make it out to an incredible ,traditional mexican dinner with our record company.(We LOVE our record company here in Mexico.They are very cool people indeed!)

Friday
Last night we played the Auditorio Nationale to a sold out audience of 10,000 people and it was absolutely,insanely wonderful!!!! There was a moment whilst singing "Cup of Coffee" and I could see all the way over the heads of the audience in the pitch black and they were waving green and yellow torch sticks and raising their lighters above their heads and I thought to myself........I must take a mental photograph of this moment and keep it in my mind forever and ever.......for THIS is pure magic and I am a lucky devil of a scots woman lost in the stars in the mystery and wonder of Mexico.
The only sad point of the day was when we learned of the unexpected overdose and subsequent death of Dee Dee Ramone.What a terrible,lonely end to the life of a legendary man.Let's send our love up to him in the ether tonight.

Saturday 8th
Our front of house engineer was rushed into hospital in the middle of the night with some ghastly stomach virus, following what was an otherwise glorious and triumphant evening in Mexico City.Thanks goes out to sweet Fernando for rising out of his bed at 4am to translate for my boy at the hospital and for then attending our press conference and instore appearance on less then three hours sleep.
Mercifully the doctors at the Hospital Mexico were very efficient indeed and they had my man checked out,diagnosed and comfortable within hours of him arriving at their emergency room.
So more insanity ruled supreme yesterday with a jam packed day of press,radio and a personal appearance at a local record store.
The last time we came to mexico and attempted to stage an in store appearance,there was the distinct possibility that people were going to get hurt so we had to shut the whole thing down after 10 minutes as we came to realize that the hundreds of fans outside the record store were hitting on the glass store-front with such force that it was in danger of collapsing entirely.
This time around...with the advantage of hindsight,everything went very smoothly indeed and we managed to get in and out of the store without too much drama.
That said.....the fans went berserk....and one boy even threw himself on our moving vehicle at which point I let out a bloodcurdling scream which terrified the rest of the band even further.Luckily no one was hurt and we fled to the airport to catch our flight to Madrid without further ado.

Sunday 9th of June
Happy happy birthday darling daddy.I am thinking of you over here in Madrid.

[posted 6/10/2002 U.S.A.]

Monday 27th
I am beginning to sound suspiciously hoarse so I'm going to have to monitor the situation carefully before things go rapidly down hill and become unsalvable.I desperately need an extended break to rest my voice properly because I can practically feel just how red and swollen my chords are!
Mercifully had a really amazing afternoon off yesterday thanks to our friends at Digidesign (the creators of Pro Tools) who invited us all to a bar-b-que up in Half Moon Bay,just 40mins or so outside San Francisco.There were tons of crazy kids,adults and dogs running around...good food.....killer margueritas and so on,so forth!! It was utter heaven.Just to spend some time away from our usual touring routine and look out over the ocean was truly precious.
As for today's impending schedule..........I'm due to present another MAC Aids Fund cheque later on today for the rather impressive sume of $75,000 to an organization here in San Francisco called "Meals with Love".Seeing as each dinner costs around 5 bucks ,the donation will provide around 15,000 dinners to people living with HIV or Aids which is a wonderful thing indeed.

Tuesday 28th
Oh god......I've lost my voice.It crapped out on me during the show last night.I literally would open my mouth to sing a note and not a squeak would come out! It's the first time in my life that my voice has ever completely disappeared on me like that.I am FREAKING out!!!!On top of my own neurosis.....Butch seems rather agitated and withdrawn which always signals either the onset of bad health or bad news.
As a consequence of all this madness,I'm feeling a little blue today.Worried about Butch,worried about my voice,worried about this insanely random world,worried that DIVAS LAS VEGAS is playing on the tv in my dressing room and I can't find the remote control because right now Anastasia and Celine Dion are pretending to be rockstars whilst miming to track and my toes are curling in horror. Stick to what you know best ladies.Please I beg of you.

Wednesday 29th
Poor old Butch had to catch a flight home before the show tonight in Las vegas because he was in such discomfort with a nasty ear infection. We had to fly Matt Chamberlain down from Seattle this afternoon, arriving just in time for the show at 8pm.I swear he was on stage at 9:10 pm and played perfectly!!!! Saved the say AGAIN!!!!
WHAT A MAN!!!!
So here we are again............... one man down and we're all rather worried. Butcher Boy is made of tough stuff but i have a feeling he's going to be out of the game for a week or so with this one.

Thursday 30th
Went to see a doctor this afternoon here in Pheonix and got a cortizone shot in my backside to treat my left vocal chord which is swollen and thus causing problems with my voice.Nothing serious but a pain in the bum nevertheless.
As a result,I turned up at the venue in a slight grump only to be delighted by the sudden appearance in my dressing room of Jack White......sporting a splendid bowler hat and twirling a magnificently carved walking cane! In the madness and melee of the past few days I had all but forgotten that The WHite Stripes were opening up for us tonight!
Anyway........Jack was in top form and Meg too for that matter.She's incredible......just so charming and radiant and bright as a button.I so love to watch her play cause she's heavy and solid and there's no showing off with her or anything silly like that.She just does what needs to be done with great panache and simplicity and as a consequence Jack,who is one of THE most amazingly wonderful guitarists in the whole new world,can play with gay abandon and get lost in his glorious madness.......and together they conjure up this crazy kind of energy and synchronicity that very few bands can muster.
Talking of which..........Jack played me some of the new songs for the next WHite Stripes record and they sound pretty incredible I must say.There's even a song he wrote which Meg sings which is chillingly beautiful that I can remember him playing for me in my hotel room on accoustic guitar way back on THE BIG DAY OUT in Australia. I think it's called "In the cool cool night" and I swear it gave me the chills.

Friday 31st
Had to cancel an accoustic radio performance today in Phoenix due to my lack of voice and drive on to San Diego instead for a day of rest.I feel quite depressed about everything today.Probably because I have NEVER cancelled a performance in my entire life and so I feel extremely uptight about having done so.Would guilty be too strong a word?

Saturday 1st of June
Had a hoot in San Diego yesterday.Gorgeous weather,great outdoor venue,good moods all around.Had so much energy on stage ,it was sick!
Matt is doing such a phemonmenal job behind the drums that it really helps take most of the stress out of what could potentially be a fiasco for us but even he managed to throw a curve ball at us yesterday by informing us that beyond Mexico City,he would be unavailable to play with us due to previous commitments.
Seeing as Butch may be well and truly under the weather for some time,the only options open to us are either to cancel all remaining shows in Europe thus disappointing thousands of our fans or we find another drummer to fill in.We have decided to call upon Matt Walker who we met when touring with The Smashing Pumpkins a few years ago.He's an incredible player and a super sweet person so hopefully he'll be able to come and help us out once Matt Chamberlain heads on out of Garbageland into the divine camp of Ms Fiona Apple.

Sunday 2nd of June
Played the first of two shows at the Wiltern Theatre here in LA last night.Must confess to feeling a little dejected when I came to realise that it's an all seated venue which tends to subdue the crowd somewhat.I like it when people are right in my face and up for it......not sitting passive behind red velvet seats.
Love love LOVE the new Eminem cd having been somewhat underwhelmed on first listen but now it's worked it's way into my heart and I keep playing it over and over.It's like some old blues/folk record set in a modern context.Dark and desperate but defiant and jubilant!!!!!!

[posted 6/6/2002 U.S.A.]

Monday20th
Well.....our entire day off yesterday was spent in the departure lounge of Austin airport due to a mechanical problem with our plane.We were supposed to have arrived in Denver at around 4pm but didn't get off the ground until just after 7:30pm by which point our day was shot.To try to smooth out the pain,the boys took me to the bar and I consumed far more margaritas than perhaps would be considered prudent.The only highlight of the day was the fact that Dan Rather from CBS News was suffering a similar fate and so we got to peek at him from around pillars and corners every so often to alleviate the boredom.
Finally got around to listen to "Walking with Thee" by Clinic and I LOVE it already and I've only listened to it once.The singer boy sounds like Brian Molko from Placebo....or at least he phrases things like him....which is a good thing in my book.
And I can't stop playing the track "I'm still here" from the other new Tom Waits album "Alice". God...... he's such an amazing songwriter, it blows my mind.I so wish he'd write a book.I imagine the result would be somewhere between Cormac McCarthy and a James Ellroy novel.WOuldn't that be something?!?!?!?

Tuesday 21st
Another day off.Another airport.Another problem.Another delay.Another late arrival. Another day squandered.Gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................
Played a somewhat strange show in Denver last night having gotten hit really hard by the high altitude and lack of oxygen. I was pretty much struggling for energy and vocal power for the entire duration of the set.
The crowd on the other hand were unbelievably LOUD and responsive so all was not lost but nevertheless........it's a horrible feeling when you know you could have given people a better show.

Wednesday 22nd
Checked into our hotel here in LA and who should be milling around the lobby but everybody's favourite new band "The Hives". Ha ha ha ha......it makes me laugh just thinking about how a band from a tiny town in Sweden will come to process LA.I mean......for one thing.... black shirts,ties and trousers are sure to have them baked to a crisp within the first few hours of their arrival.Afterall it's almost impossible to flaunt any real style in the heat of the desert!!
Anyway......had my hair bleached in my room as I watched the Sacremento Kings beat the Lakers and then oggled over Paul Newman in HUD whilst sipping on an Amstel Lite and eating guacamole and tortilla chips.
Yum yum yum.
Thought of the day: Why on earth has Seal not sued Nickleback for their copyright infringement of the big hit "Kiss from a Rose" that he had on the Batman soundtrack a few years ago? I mean....... Nickleback's song for the Spiderman movie is an insanely close rip off.The choruses of both songs are almost EXACTLY the same.
Oh have those movie companies no bloody shame?!?!?!??!


Thursday 23rd
I don't believe it.
We're sitting on the tarmac at LAX trying to get to Seattle and once again we have another mechanical problem with the plane that we're sitting in.I could scream and tear my hair out.This is SOOoooooo frustrating.
Just finished reading the newspaper and it's all gloom and doom.India and Pakistan continue to escalate their threats against each other without much interference it seems from the rest of the world despite the potential of nuclear weaponry being used if such a war were to occur and of course we have Israel and Palestine perpetually locked and entrenched in their hatred and violence towards each other.
It's enough to make you want to join a peace rally and wear hemp trousers.

Friday 24th
Our entire day off yesterday was spent travelling.I feel like I'm going to go off my head if I don't actually get an entire day to myself sometime soon.I just want to be able to relax and not have to actually move anywhere or speak to anyone.
We did go out to an amazing restaurant last night called "WIld Ginger" which was out of this world good.I stuffed myself to the brink of vomitting and then felt rather wretched on the walk back to our hotel.I never seem to know when to quit while ahead.Always have to go just a little too far for some reason.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."
-- Paulo Coelho, _The Alchemist_


SAturday 25th
Had a bonkers show last night.For some inexplicable reason the entire band had a sort of weird,freaky energy that carried us somewhere quite peculiar.The gig ended with Butch trying to play the guitar on "Only Happy When it Rains" whilst Matt Chamberlain,who happens to live here in Seattle took over on drums.Discovering all too late that his talents remain squarely with the drums,Butch took to dancing and singing and generally acting the fool,much to the delight of audience and his bandmates alike.It was absolutely the worst rendition of that song in the history of Garbage but we had a total blast playing it.
I did however get a wee bit upset with a posse of professional autograph hunters after the show.They all come (armed with piles of drum heads,posters and glossy photographs) posing as legitimate fans and attempting to get us to sign our names on as many articles as possible, insisting that we use blue pens to do so because blue ink is the only thing that really shows up the signature well enough whenever they scan the article into a computer which in turn they then sell to our hardcore fans for insane amounts of money and it really deeply angers me.I ended up shouting "get that out of my fucking face" at one guy who kept shoving copy after copy of one of my Spin Magazine front covers under my nose and in the process I think I frightened off some of our true fans who were waiting there legitimately with nothing but good intentions and so I felt really bad about that later on in the bus.
Something to feel good about:
There was no WNBA when i was growing up and there was absolutely no televising of womans sports. These day's however........ that's all changed and young girls have sporting idols to look up to and be inspired by.As corny as it seems......I sometimes catch myself smiling whilst watching ads on tv that show girls aggressively kicking soccer balls into nets or out jumping the competition to shoot a basket or running insanely fast whilst their muscles flex and gleam. It's just so inspiring and surely will have long lasting effects on the way woman in the future choose to conduct themselves and how they are percieved.
Anyway.......whatever.........my arm hurts from the booster shot we all got in the arm last night for Hep A. Just another wee reminder of the sudden but brief loss of our drummer last autumn.Weird that we should get the vaccination in Matt's hometown.Life can be awfully ironic sometimes can't it?
It was exciting talking to Matt cause he's about to go into the studio with one of my absolute favourite singers,Fiona Apple!!!! I am DYING to hear what she does next.Her voice makes me wicked jealous and gloriously happy all at the same time. He's also just finished working on a new cd with Tori Amos who I also happen to love and adore. Afterall....she's a fellow red head ain't she?

Sunday 26th
Played in Portland last night to an incredibly loud and enthusiastic crowd.They made such a racket when we came back to play an encore that I felt like I was teetering on the brink of tears.The response from our fans can be so overwhelming sometimes that I don't know what to do.I just stand there grinning whilst muttering inadequate "thankyous" over the mike.
Bussed down the west coast overnight and arrived in San Francisco at around 11:3O am leaving the remainder of the day clear of all duties.How utterly marvellous.

[posted 5/28/2002 U.S.A.]

Monday 13th
Spent yet another supposed "day off" yesterday mixing our cover version of The Ramones track "I just wanna have something to do" and doing our laundry.
I've got to admit.......... the song is sounding pretty good and we're all pleased with how it's shaped up which is rather astounding when you think about it cause we only spent a few hours in the studio on it and to actually have the entire band manage to deal with that is a rare thing indeed!!! Ha ha ha ha ha............
Haven't been able to stop listening the new Tom Waits album "Blood Money" today.If only wonderful records came around more often,life would be ever so much sweeter.I'm getting totally excited about the prospect of the new "Queens of the Stone Age" record coming out though.OOoooooooh I cannot WAIT!!!!! And the new Eminem cd!!!!
Oh and one last thing: How depressing is it that automatic flushing has had to be implemented in public restrooms around the country.I mean........what is wrong with people that they can't even be relied upon to pull the handle themselves to rid the world of their detritus.That's just so gross and disappointing.No wonder men and woman get so frustrated with one another.If they can't find the energy to flush their shit away,where on earth are they going to find the energy to properly love one another.

Tuesday 14th
A friend of ours who lives in St Louis came by after the show last night and gave us a sneak preview of the movie he has just finished making about The MC5.If the trailer is anything to go by,the movie is going to be HOT and I'm super excited about seeing it!!!
We all had a long talk with management this afternoon about releasing our b-sides album by the end of the year and discussed running a poll on our web site to ask the fans which tracks they'd like to see making the grade.

Wednesday 15th
We're flying off to Houston this afternoon on our day off following the show in Kansas City,Missouri last night.Duke had 70 members of his family in the audience including his dear old mum who is 82 years old!!! I hope I'm still going to rock concerts when I'm that age!
Whilst typing this very entry I just heard Kobe Bryant utter these very words on ESPN;
"We play to win.SOme teams play to lose.We play to win"
Oh shut up and sit down fool.What a load of rubbish.Do you really believe that there is even one team in the NBA who actively goes out on to the court to lose.No I don't think so.
And while we're on the subject of tv........ can someone please explain to me why Rachel Weiz is suddenly talking with an american accent whilst doing promo for her movie "About a boy" here in America?!?!?!?!?! Has she lost her mind or is she thinking that there is a shortage of american accents over here? You're english dear.You'd do well not to forget that so readily.That's what makes you different from most of all the other actresses over here you silly goose.

Thursday 16th
I simply cannot comprehend the thinking behind the national televising of a video tape made by the kidnappers and murders of american journalist, Daniel Pearl.It fucking makes me sick to my stomach.How loveless has our society become that we see fit to televise the torment and murder of an man and call it journalism? It's perverted and irresponsible, voyeuristic and sadistic.I hope Mr Pearl's relatives sue everyone they can possibly hold accountable for this disgusting violation of their family's right to privacy.It's absolutely disgusting that this poor man has not even been afforded some dignity in death.It makes me want to weep just thinking about it.

Friday 17th
Mmmnnnnn......I tried the new vanilla flavoured CocaCola this afternoon and it was SUPER yummy.Granted......I don't think I could drink an entire can until they bring out a diet version because it has way too much sugar in it for my tastes but I do like the way it tastes.It reminds me of being a little girl under a sun-hat in a pretty little summer's dress, sucking on a candy-striped straw out of a long glass that's filled with ice whilst watching a tennis match on tv .
Anyway......i digress! We had a crazy night last night in Houston....fantastic crowd......great gig!
And we even had a real life astronaut come to the show!! An astronaut!!! In Houston of all places!!! Ha ha ha.....that's so silly, it's fantastic!!! His name was Piers Sellars and I swear to god that his business card was written in both english and russian!! Apparently he's due to go up to the space station in August and he was claiming that he's going to use "Push it" as a wake up for the astronauts during their jaunt!! How fucking cool is THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Ha ha ha ha......oh life is a hoot sometimes.

Saturday 18th
Had a rather unpleasant little incident with a young man at 4am this morning when we arrived at the hotel here in Austin.It really upset me and as a result I couldn't get to sleep until well after 6am.He had followed us by car all the way from Dallas where we played last night and caught up with us in the hotel lobby upon our arrival with a big stash of things for us to autograph.
At 4am in the morning?!?!??!?! I'm sorry but I'm not signing ANYTHING at that time in the morning because I am going straight to my bed!!!
I tried to gently explain as we're standing waiting on the elevator that it was the middle of the night and we we're trying to get to our beds,that two of the boys are really rather ill (they were both at the hospital yesterday) and that we we're really sorry and all that but we we're not going to be signing anything.And all of a sudden he starts to get rather upset and a little angry and so I get into the elevator and get to my room as quickly as possible but then I'm all aggitated because I think it's really unfair of someone to put us in that kind of position in the middle of the night because I HATE turning people down for autographs and it is not something I do very often.....nor is it something I enjoy doing.It makes me feel really, really awful if the truth be told but this is where I stand on this particular issue:
Touring for 12 months can be extremely hard on your body and you have to be sure that you take care of it as you would if you were an athelete.Sleep is THE most important factor to maintaining good health whilst on the road.I am a nutter about maximizing the time I have in which to rest so that I am in as good condition as possible to perform a great show.I believe that our most important duty to garbage fans is to put on the best possible live show we can.Everything else on top of that is gravy if you ask me.It's not like we ever signed a contract that stipulated "You will sign your autograph for anyone and at any time they ask". Surely we have a choice in the matter?!?!?
Are we to stop every single night on our way to our hotel rooms regardless of what time it is or how we are feeling if someone decides that they want our autograph? And do we then sign for each and every person who is hanging out waiting on us at all hours of the morning when we should be in our beds sleeping and preparing for our show the next again night.We have to draw the line somewhere otherwise we would forever be on "duty".
Anyways....what I'm really trying to say is this: We feel very privileged to enjoy the kind of support that we do from our fans and we want to acknowledge that as much as possible and we often sign en mass for our fans after shows and if I ever met anyone in the street during daylight hours I would NEVER turn them down but there are also times, PARTICULARLY late at night,when we really do need to be sensible about how we approach our duties for the sake of the long term and if that stance hurts the feelings of any of our fans, I am genuinely and deeply sorry.

Sunday 19th
Oh great.We're stuck in Austin airport due to a mechanical problem with our plane.An excellent way to spend a day off is sitting in an airport I don't think so and to add insult to injury I even started my period this morning so you can picture the scene! I'm sitting about a hundred miles from the rest of the band who are desperately praying we can get through today without some kind of irrational explosion, courtesy of their queen.
Ha ha ha ha............no promises there.
I must admit......I rather like Austin.It has a really good vibe and I could happily idle away some downtime here if I ever got the chance.
Disappointed to learn that the LA Lakers beat the Sacramento Kings in the first game of the western conference final.I love Shaq and some of his other team mates like Horry but oh my goodness.....Kobe Bryant,as amazing as he is......he's got no class.....no humility.He's just a spoilt,arrogant boy who needs to learn that sport is something that goes way beyond being solely about a game that needs to be won.

He is no fool

who gives what he cannot keep

to gain what he cannot lose -Jim Eliot

[posted 5/20/2002 U.S.A.]

Monday 6th of April
Played yesterday afternoon at the big midtown music festival here in Atlanta with both Puddle of Mud and No DOubt which on paper should have been enjoyable enough (you know I love gwennie) but true to form....I got rather hot and bothered by the sun and by the time our hourlong set was finished I looked like I had dooked myself in a bath, I was so bloody wet with sweat. NOT my finest moment by a long shot!!
Gwen was seen cheering by the sidelines but even her sweet wee face couldn't elevate my spirits and it was a despondent Shirley Ann who left the stage shortly after 6pm with my tail tucked between my legs.
Fortunately we were back at the hotel a mere half hour later which meant we could go and actually sit down and eat at a proper table in a restaurant for a change and generally relax and wallow in the prospect of a whole two days off at The Four Seasons!!!
YAHHOOooooooooo

Tuesday 7th
Had an action packed day off!
Got up late.Got my starbucks.Had my roots bleached to perfection.Went for a chiropractic adjustment.Took off on a shopping expedition and purchased THE most amazing (pink!) pair of Dries Van Noten shoes that have EVER graced this world.Saw the new Spiderman movie which, contrary to the reviews I have read, was VERY disappointing.Ate some truly great sushi at a wee hole in the wall in some dodgy lo-fi stripmall. Returned to the hotel to watch some basketball and was asleep by midnight.
Bada bing bada BOOM.

Wednesday 8th

If we are open only to discoveries that will accord with what we know already,

we may as well stay shut. That is why the marvelous achievements of science and

technology are of so little real use to us. It is in vain that we can predict

and control the course of events in the future, unless we can live in the

present. It is in vain that doctors prolong life if we spend the extra time

being anxious to live still longer. It is in vain that engineers devise faster

and easier means of travel if the new sights that we see are merely sorted and

understood in terms of old prejudices. It is in vain that we get the power of

the atom if we are to just continue in the rut of blowing people up. -Alan Watts

Thursday 9th
The show in Columbus,Ohio last night was unbelievable.The crowd were absolutely amazing and I was on cloud nine when I walked off stage.I wish I could have run around the venue thanking each and every one of the audience personally for all their grins and their hand clapping, their energy and their warmth.They simply made it magical to be onstage last night.
As an added bonus to the entire evening,Morgan Landers from "Kittie" came backstage after the show and we got on like a house on fire.Immediate bonding took place right there and then.Kittie are on tour in the USA right now and were in Columbus to play their own show the following night so they came down to check out the concert and share a cocktail or two with me afterwards.
It's quite wierd because in the flesh ,Morgan is so much more delicate than she appears in photographs or videos.I thought she was going to be really tall and broad but even in her high heels she cut a rather diminuitive figure which makes me want to laugh because she has such a HUGE voice that sounds like it comes from goliath himself. Anyway.......I'm glad we met cause she's a very cool girl and we come from similar schools of thought. Two peas in a pod.Alpha all around.

Friday 10th
Arrived in Chicago early yesterday morning after a long haul from Columbus,Ohio.I stupidly stayed up late with the boys to watch "Band of Brothers" even though I religiously caught the entire series when it ran for the first time last year,and so I'm feeling rather low on energy as a result.I'm one of those feeble minded people who tend to like a full 8 hours of sleep minimum and when I don't get it I tend to be either crabby or hideously slug-like.
Talking of slug-like.............I'm feeling all yucky and fat today.Eating correctly is difficult when on tour and I guess I'm throwing myself with far too much gay abandon into the fast food catering that arrives on the bus shortly after we come off stage.Eating late and then going to sleep immediately afterwards is just about the worst thing you can do for your body.I'm going to have to begin a new regime and be strict with myself from now on before I billow into a ghastly,bloated version of my former self.

Saturday 11th
Played 1st Avenue in Minneapolis last night which is upstairs from 7th Street Entry...the venue where Garbage played it's very first gig.Had a pretty good time all in all and was delighted to have my voice back 100%.I was really belting it out according to our front of house engineer!

Sunday 12th
Had THE most incredible show last night in Milwaukee which was an absolute triumph for the boys because it's pretty much a hometown show for them.
We were playing at The Rave which has the BEST club dressing rooms in the whole of the United States of America.It puts you in such a good place mentally before a show when the dressing room is actually a pleasant environment to be in.A place where you can safely take off your shoes and not fear what might stick to your socks.A place where you can sit on a couch and not smell the bums of all those who came (quite literally) before you.A place that doesn't make your flesh creep with repulsion or cause your imagination to wander into dark places where you wonder what ghastly disease you may run the risk of catching.And hell.....let's face it...... a place that doesn't smell of stale cigarettes,beer, shit or vomit is always a welcome addition to the pre-show atmosphere backstage.

[posted 5/15/2002 U.S.A.]

Monday 29th of April
Spent my entire day off in bed yesterday.
Watched some basketball and Michael Mann's rather disappointing "Ali" on Pay per View and then napped like a baby on and off all afternoon.
Breifly nipped out for some AMAZING sushi in the evening and was back in bed by 9:30pm.
I'm desperately trying to be a good girl and not tax my voice on days off but it's so hard for me cause it means that I end up missing out on all the shenanigans. And yes.....it does get a little boring boring boring sometimes.............but also..... in a mildly perveted kind of a way....... it's rather a divine,nun-like way to exist too.

Tuesday 30th
We played the first of two shows here in Washington D.C last night and had a riot to ourselves.Lots of banter back and forth between the band and audience who somehow managed to persuade us into playing both Girl DOn't Come and #1 Crush. I'm beginning to feel a little better these days and my energy levels are creeping slowly back to normal. I even managed to do a full work out before the show so that's definitely a good sign and if I keep improving like this.....I will feel so much happier. On a slightly odd tangent..........what on earth is Shakira going on about in her new single?I thought I'd heard it all after the "it is good that my breasts are so small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains" line but I guess I was wrong.

Wednesday 1st of May
Watched an HBO special on the making of the new Spiderman movie this afternoon and I got all revved up and excited about it. I'm mildly biased though as I do harbour a HUGE thing for Tobey Maguire.He's just so bloody geeky and you've just got to love those earnest,nerdy types.(They're great in bed.) Arrived in Norfolk,Virginia at 4:30 am this morning,slunk into the hotel and then promptly managed to sleep right through until noon.Had another great show in DC last night.The audience were shouting out requests all night long,as result of which we even attempted a (very poor) version of "You Look So Fine".
YIKES

Thursday 2nd May
Myrtle Beach,South Carolina
Weird day.Strange news all around.DOn't feel like writing.

Friday 3rd
Today is supposed to be a "day off" but it's 2pm and we've already driven over from South Carolina, had a meeting with our business manager and now we're all sitting in Ocean Way Studios here in Nashville getting ready to record a track for the up and coming Ramones Tribute Record.
Anyway......it's all very swanky here in this studio.They even have their own chef which seems spectacularly glamourous to me!!!

Saturday 4th Played a big festival here in Nashville this afternoon and I was delighted to discover that No Doubt were playing too.The last time Garbage and No Doubt were on a bill together was almost 7 years ago at the KROQ Weenie Roast when we were all new kids on the block and no one had ever heard of us. Took up the invitation to visit Ms Stefani on her bus before the show....and we pissed ourselves laughing at our 7 year good fortune and swapped a few road stories of ill health as lead singers are want to do.....but she was looking absolutely radiant and totally back on form.
I'm delighted to see her and the band do so well with "Rock Steady".They're sticking quite a few royal fingers up the asses of those who had them written off after "The Return of Saturn".

Sunday 5th
I don't normally like jokes but this one made me chuckle for some reason!

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists...Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your
instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes." I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard,
one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded
with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral: Women are evil. Don't mess with them

[posted 5/8/2002 U.S.A.]

Monday 22nd
Had a blast in Detroit yesterday.It was good to see Jack,get away from the group for an afternoon and just tool around town in his van.
He even pointed out The Hotel Yorba as we drove around which was rather cute cause I love that song.....and the first time I ever laid eyes on The White Stripes, there they were playing it in all their glory. So yeah......it was SOooo good to see him but have to admit that after he dropped me off I got annoyed with myself for taking some time out of my schedule cause it meant that I didn't have time to workout and get properly warmed up for the show and I felt guilty for some inexplicable reason....which is silly i know but true nevertheless.I'm so locked into such a very disciplined routine when I tour that any little deviation,like going to lunch with a chum,throws me for a loop.
So anyway.......young Jack is off to London tomorrow to record his next record and we're off to NYC to play another show.
Life zooms along at high speed regardless.

Tuesday 23rd
Drove over from Detroit and arrived in NYC around 8am this morning.
Had an early appointment to go see an ear,nose and throat specialist which proved to be a bit of a non starter as he simply referred me to different doctor specializing in lungs instead.I am getting mighty tired of all this nonsense.I just want to feel fully fit ASAP without using any antibiotics to do so.
What next? Hypnosis perhaps?!?!?!?!
(Perhaps I should have just taken that toot of coke afterall!!!!)

Wednesday 24th
Had a mad day of management meetings etc etc.Dicussed our touring plans for the rest of the year (we're out until the end of November) and the possibility of finally releasing our B-sides collection towards the end of this year.
Got to the venue early to workout but my mind was whirring and I couldn't concentrate or settle down into a pattern so I gave up and caught up on some e-mails instead.
Decided to save my energies for the show.
Lots of friends coming down to the show tonight!
Oh please let us have a good one.

Thursday 25th
Had a wonderful show last night in NYC.I'm in heaven!
Quote of the day:
I am done with great things and big plans, great institutions and big success. I
am for those tiny, invisible, loving human forces that work from individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the world like so many rootlets or the capillary oozing of water, which, if given time, will rend the hardest monuments of pride. -William James

Friday 26th
Woke up to the news that Lisa Lopes of TLC was killed in a car accident yesterday.I feel so sad about it yet ashamedly, it makes me feel glad to be alive.
Drove down to Philadelphia this afternoon following our day off in NYC.I spent most of yesterday at the hospital getting x-rays taken of my lungs and talking with a specialist.(He didn't think I have anything too serious.....thankGOD!!!!)
I got really freaked out at the hospital though.There were really sick people waiting to get x-rayed and anxious mothers with tiny little premature babies or brave wee boys recovering from chemotherapy amongst them and they were left there in the waiting room for hours on end and no one seemed to give a shit about them save aggressively making sure they got hold of their insurance cards to pay for whatever treatment they were about to be subjected to.
It really made me sick to my stomach.
At least in the UK we have such a thing as a national health service where if you are really up against it you can be seen by a doctor without having to prove whether you can pay for the pleasure or not.
I mean.....surely the last thing you want to have to deal with when you are stuggling to survive is worry about whether you can afford the treatment or not.
The system in the USA just seems so barbaric to me.It all comes down to the bottom line which is MONEY MONEY MONEY.
Healthcare as profit.
It's awful.
I mean.....I realise it's a complicated issue and lord knows,we have enough problems of our own in the UK, running the health service efficiently but my god.........we are completely indulged in comparison to those in the US who seek medical care who may or may not have sufficient funds to cover it.

Saturday 27th
Had an amazing show in Philadelphia last night which didn't come as too much of a surprise because historically we've always had fun shows down there.
Drove up to Boston right after the show,arrived at the hotel around 6am and then in what seemed like a blink of an eye........ had to wake up and get ready to play a radio station festival at the ungodly hour of twelve o'clock!
Oh it was ugly.
The entire band and crew were super tired and irritated and not in the least bit in the mood to jump around in the noonday sun, secure in the knowledge that immediately after.....we would have to tear the gear down,pack it in the trucks and then drive across town to set up for our own headline show that same evening.
GGGGggggrrrrrrrrrr


Sunday 28th
Steven Tyler and Tom Hamilton from Aerosmith were spotted in the audience last night so all the boys....especially Daniel our bass player.....were extremely excited.
Unfortunately I was still struggling with my lungs on top of general fatigue from the doublewhammy of playing two shows but I managed to overcome it all and come out the other end in high spirits due in part to the wonderful reaction of the audience.
Highlight of the night had to be when a huge pair of white cotton underpants came sailing up from the crowd and onto the stage....with a message scribbled on the back that read "Shirley you are a goddess. We love you"
All the members of our crew were too grossed out to pick them off the stage so they lay there abandoned for quite some time as they squabbled amongst themselves about who was going to remove the offending article.
Ha ha ha ha.............
Got a despondent e-mail from Gwen Stefani who is suffering similar problems on the road (poor wee lambchop) and she's been forced to cancel a couple of shows in an effort to recover herself.I feel really bad for her cause she sounded so fed-up.
No one wants to have to cancel a show.
And she's a tiger.........she doesn't like having to admit defeat so I can imagine how badly she feels.

[posted 4/30/2002 U.S.A.]

If you'd like to check out the diaries from the old site - check them out here.

[posted 9/26/2001 U.S.A.]